i ran over a field mouse and cried really hard the whole way home. i’m sorry.
this is a fucking joke. i’ve had 6 other messages like this and it’s nauseating. it’s pathetically gross that you’re using me as an example to fuel your neurotic bullshit personality. i am not you, how fucking shallow is that, anyway? i’m the DEEPEST part of YOU? i’m not connected to your being in any fucking way; don’t lump me in with you as some kind of extension of yourself because i’m a whole person who doesn’t update this shitty journal just so you can find yourself through MY fucking feelings. i’m the furthest thing from being part of you or any other wannabe depressive pastel goth fuck using this website as a platform to showcase one made up existential crisis after another. you wanna learn more about yourself? stop looking for yourself in other people because right now you don’t exist at all. none if this is deep so don’t build it up like it’s this wonderful thing when it’s just some head fucked 21 year old that can’t deal with daily life without romanticizing everything. i fucking hate you all. no one knows me not ever just fucking go away.
when you die i’ll dig you up from six feet under. i’ll die with my face pressed
into your soft rotting body.
crossing state lines with strangers
people with alien hearts & gutter minds
puppies & kittens & elephants
never seeing someone again
i’ll be in a snuff film one day
list of voids
being the bad boy’s good girl
hidden christmas presents
pills & kisses that blur the world
too many feelings at the same time too many people at the same time all the feelings are opposite each other i want to throw up.
they smoke k-2 in the car the sky was so pretty all the leaves were glowing if i smoke it just once i can feel it heavy in my head in 4 seconds i feel so sleepy and i feel like my insides are dying they are they are i watched nick throw up all over himself once he was gone inside he didn’t exist at all just a body and a head with nothing in it i watched dead dogs splayed along side the road like rotten stuffed animals moving seems safer we’re just worthless children i felt like crying the kind like in kindergarten when i cut off a piece of another girl’s hair i’m sorry i’m sorry.